According to Psychology Today, the idea of whether or not people can change is widely debated among mental health professionals. Just being widely debated shows me that there isn't any conclusive evidence that people can actually change their personality traits.
I have long asserted that people do not change. (Trait Theory) When I say this, it is not supposed to be negative or positive. Just reality. When you look into personality traits, you'll quickly find that there are the "Big Five" that psychologists agree on. Those are:
- Extraversion
- Emotional stability
- Openness
- Conscientiousness
- Agreeableness
Each of the "Big Five" have an opposite end of the spectrum as well.
- Extraversion ------------------> Introversion
- Emotional stability ------------------> Neuroticism
- Openness ------------------> Deceitfulness
- Conscientiousness ------------------> Careless, irresponsible, and negligent
- Agreeableness ------------------> Antagonism
When you look at each of these as a scale, you can ascertain someone's personality on these measures. Basically, you might ask "How emotionally stable is this person?" "Or how honest (open) is this person?"
Each one is a spectrum. And we all fall on parts of the spectrum for each of the Big Five.
Do our personalities change?
Back to the question. Do people really change? You already know my assertion that people's personalities do NOT change. We may surpress parts of our personality in an act (behavior) or as a mask.
For example, an introverted person might have to pretend to be extraverted at a party or social event. Or an honest person might have to be dishonest when they are a contestent on Survivor as part of the game show.
However, those temporary shifts in our behavoriors. Our personalities do not change. They may temporarily adapt. In other words, people can pretend for a time, but they don't change.
Even the professionals are struggling and grappling with this question. In one article on Psychology Today titled "Do people really change?" the author suggests short term changes after therapy. But if you read through the article, it notes that the "change" that was measured was in response to what the personal originally sought the therapy for.
In other words, if a person came in to treat depression and the depression episode subsided, then the measure would show "change." But that was a change in the current circumstance and not an overarching personality trait change.
Let's put this in and easier to understand example.
The Statue of Liberty is greenish blue. That color is a petina that has colored the original copper. If you asked a bunch of people what color the Statue of Liberty is, they might say green or blue or bluegreen.
Some could correctly point out that she's copper colored.
So I ask you, "What color is the Statue of Liberty?"
The correct answer is copper. But there is a temporary petina on the Statue that colors her bluegreen.
You see, the Statue of Liberty hasn't changed colors. She is still copper, but to most of us she looks bluegreen. But underneath that mask, she is copper.
People can petina
When I assert that people don't change, I realize that behaviors can - even if temporarily. People can certainly look different on the outside (behaviors) just like the Statue of Liberty. My assertion stands though, because if you clean off the Statue, she's copper. (trait)
What I mean is that while people can change colors on the outside (behavior), they are still the very same people on the inside (triat). Underneath the petina, they are who they are. And I will continue to assert that people's personalities don't change. Instead, people do a couple of different things:
- They PRETEND to change (behavior)
- They are affected by a significant life event and they tarnish (change colors - change behaviors)
What is Trait Theory?
In psychology, this perspective I am asserting aligns with Trait Theory, which suggests that personality is composed of stable, internal characteristics that remain relatively consistent across different situations and over time.
My argument that people don't truly "change"—only their behaviors do—is a significant school of thought.
- The Distinction Between Personality and Behavior - Psychologists often distinguish between personality traits (who you are) and behaviors (what you do).
The "Alcoholic" Example: In many recovery models, like Alcoholics Anonymous, the philosophy is that "once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic". This supports my view: while a person may stop drinking (a behavioral change), their underlying biological and psychological predisposition toward addiction remains a permanent part of their identity.
The "Prisoner" Example: Incarceration is designed as a behavioral deterrent, but it rarely addresses the core personality traits—such as high impulsivity or low agreeableness—that may have led to the crime in the first place. Research from the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) suggests that while people can learn to manage these traits through structured environments, the fundamental "wiring" (Trait) often persists. - Evidence Supporting Personality Stability - Several concepts support the idea that personality is "set in stone":
Set Point Theory: This suggests that after major life events (like winning the lottery or going to prison), people eventually return to their baseline level of personality and happiness.
The "Big Five" Stability: Long-term studies on the Big Five personality traits (Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism) show high levels of stability in adults. While people might become slightly more conscientious as they age, their rank order compared to others rarely changes.
Neurobiology: Addiction and long-term criminal behavior often result in physical changes to the brain's reward and decision-making circuits that can persist for years, even after the behavior stops. - The Counter-Argument: "State" vs. "Trait" - The debate you see on Psychology Today often centers on whether a change in "state" (temporary condition) can eventually lead to a change in "trait" (permanent characteristic). Some argue that if a person practices "being" sober or "being" a law-abiding citizen long enough, those behaviors eventually fuse into a new personality.
However, my assertion remains a core pillar of the dispositional perspective: that we simply learn better "coping mechanisms" to mask or control our original, unchanging selves.
Why am I focusing on this today? I read a Reddit post and suggested to the Original Poster that she would be unlikely to ever see changes. She asked the audience if this is going to be her life forever, and I believe it most certainly will be simply because people don't change. Their Traits remain the same. Those traits create a baseline for how they will operate in the world.
Can they change behaviors, yes. People can change behaviors. However the core of themselves remains the same.
You might ask, "if a behavior changes, isn't that just as good?" The answer is no. The reason is that if a dishonest person ACTS honest, they are still dishonest. They are PRETENDING to be honest and controlling the part of themselves that is dishonest. Sure, they are aware of themselves and working every day to control the impulses that make them dishonest. But the impulses are alive and well.
My question would be would you like to be with a dishonest person who is pretending to be honest? Or would you prefer just to be with someone who is honest? The distinction is huge.
In my work, this comes into play daily. I shorten my quote to this:
People don't change. In fact, they often get worse
In my own life, my ex wife had lots of affairs. When I caught her the first time in 2012, she insisted that she had "changed" and that she would never do that again. Well, five affairs later, we divorced in 2018.
She is a dishonest person. That trait will never change
She cheats. That will never change ("once a cheater, always a cheater")
She is addicted to attention
She is highly extroverted
All of these traits haven't changed even if, on the outside, she looks bluegreen. She's still copper underneath.
What have you experienced in your own lives where people who have claimed to be changed or different reverted back to their baseline?